Mad Wagon had amassed quite a stockpile of CineMagic (CineMagic: where movies and magic come together!). I think he scored them from his work. The passes each have a value of $7.50. Not good enough to get an evening show for free but worth just enough for a matinee.
I snatched three of 'em and took two of my friends to see Thor this past Saturday afternoon. I thought we would get there in time to snag some good seats. It was only playing on one screen at the Westbrook multiplex. This I found odd, but I figured a big blockbuster like this would be shown in one of the big-ass theaters. Y'know, one with a 56' screen. But I was wrong. Smaller theater. Smaller screen. What the hell was playing that the brain trust at CineMagic HQ thought would bring in more of a crowd? The Angry Birds movie? The film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged (no joke!)? The only thing I can think of is Fast Five. So we get in there with about five minutes to spare, and the place is packed. The only spot where we could find three empty seats together was the very front row, a mere 10' or so from the screen. But our options were limited. Other than my neck getting more fucked up than it normally is. I made do.
In my oh-so-humble opinion I give Thor a decisive "meh." A lot of the ho-hum feeling I got I accredit to Natalie Portman. I really don't get her appeal.. She's pretty enough I suppose, but I have never really been impressed with her. I liked her in The Professional (when she was thirteen), and she didn't bother me in Your Highness, but that's about it (though I admit I haven't seen Black Swan). I think of those scenes between her and Hayden Christensen in those StarWars prequels, and my brain hurts. A lot. She continued her lack of chemistry with her male co-stars with Thor. I admit I'm not completely familiar with the Thor solo comics (my knowledge of him comes mostly from The Avengers) so I don't know if her character was created specifically for the film. If she was, fuck you, J. Michael Straczynski. I tire of studios adding love interests to movies for no real reason.
Now I must warn you before you go further, gentle reader. While I contend I reveal no spoilers, some may state that I come dangerously close.
Here are some things I did like about it:
- The actors who portrayed Thor and Loki were decent.
- The special effects were solid, particularly the stuff involving Bi-Frost, the rainbow bridge. The effects certainly weren't mind-blowing, but they were cool to look at.
- It's always a good thing when Stringer Bell and Titus Pullo get acting gigs.
- I enjoyed the "Dr. Donald Blake" references.
- Though he's pretty fucking close to being a talentless hack, I enjoyed Stan Lee's cameo. As lame as he is I always like Stan's cameo appearances.
- The comic relief of quasi-sidekick Darcy, played by Kat Dennings, made me chuckle a few times.
- The presence of Thor's mom, Frigga, was minimal and frankly served no purpose. This is good because I do not care for Rene Russo.
- Kenneth Branagh given a shit load of money to make a movie.
- The brief appearance of a future Avenger who, sadly, will not benefit from a solo film.
Thor's origin gets messed with in a major way. I heard it was to not offend the "Harry Potter is evil because he practices witchcraft" crowd. It's a significant change, but it's done rather subtly. One of my companions didn't even realize it was tweaked until I mentioned it after the fact.
The dialogue was stiff, which works fine for scenes set in Asgard, but not so much between Earthlings ("Midgardians" if you will). Not quite sure why the denizens of Asgard speak with British accents either.
I also thought the inclusion of Thor's buddies, Sif and The Warriors Three, was pointless and in some instances stupid, at least to the extent they were featured in the film. I guess what I'm saying is that most of the supporting characters are unnecessary and ultimately detracted from the picture.
Everything involving Ms. Portman aside, my single biggest issue is the same as my beef with Ironman 2: too much of Thor was spent building up to The Avengers film. I have no doubt this movie, especially with Joss Whedon at the helm, is going to be the bee's fucking knees, but these characters deserve chances to shine on their own. These movies should be treated as individual stories and not merely prequels to a future franchise, but to be fair Thor isn't as bad as Ironman 2 in this regard. Some build-up is cool and even encouraged, but when a considerable chunk of screen time is spent advertising another film it's a disservice to the viewer. It's lame bullshit.
Oh, and make sure to stick around for the stuff after the credits. There's appropriate teasing of things to come at an appropriate place in the film.
I'm hoping Captain America isn't as mediocre.
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